Every year, people make resolutions on what they will start doing or stop doing in the coming year.
And most of the time, it never happens.
Why?
Not because they don’t want to make those changes.
Not because they lack the ability to make those changes.
The reason is because they are not willing to form a new habit, and remain accountable for that habit.
Let me explain:
All that stuff we swear we won’t do anymore in the coming year (drink too much, smoke, eat ho-ho’s at 1:00 while watching infomercials) – those are all habits. What’s more, they are habits we developed over time.
All that stuff we swear we will start doing (working out, growing a home business, investing time in our spouses / kids / loved ones) – those are all new habits we will have to form to replace the current habit.
For example, if you want to get in shape, you’ll have to develop a new habit to replace your current habit (which is avoiding the gym and eating crappy food).
If you want to improve your marriage, you’ll have to develop a new habit to replace the current habit (avoiding your spouse, not communicating with your spouse, making derogatory comments to your spouse).
If you want to grow that home business, you’ll have to develop a new habit to replace the current habit (thinking about growing a business, daydreaming about growing a business, putting off growing a business).
You get the drift.
So the real question is – how do we form a new habit?
By doing this:
- Defining the new habit - what exactly do you want to do?
- Breaking it down – what are the habit-forming steps to establishing this new habit?
- Imposing a timeline – it takes 30 days to create a new habit, so break your habit-forming steps into 30-day increments
- Creating Accountability – you gotta have someone else knowing what you are trying to do. Friend, colleague, life-coach, spouse – find somebody you trust, let them know your plan, and check in with them weekly with a progress report.
Whew! Seems like a lot of work to create one new habit, right?
You’re right – it is a lot of work.
But making the same new years “resolution” each December 31st takes a lot of work too.
The goal here is to make it so that you can’t possibly miss your new year’s objective – whatever you are trying to stop doing or start doing will be directly impacted by the habits you create starting today.
So what kind of new year do you want?
Physically?
Emotionally?
Spiritually?
Relationally?
Financially?
Take the time to define your objectives, and create habits that make it impossible to NOT reach those objectives.
That way, when all your friends are making the same “resolution” next year, you can pat yourself on the back knowing you accomplished what you set out to do.
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I actually found this site through amazon-I was surprised to actually find something that can help me this coming year. Thank you very much! Hopefully in thirty days I can quit my bad habits-and replace them with GOOD HABITS!
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I’ve never been a big fan of new year’s resolution; it’s like being obligated to be happy when you are angry. I think the best new year’s resolution would be to cut back on spending money on media and electronics.
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:37 pm
I do believe in new year resolution and it really works. However what needs is your firm and concrete determination and yu need to win against yourself. Self control and ignoring the habbits is one way of new year resolution.
I have taken one which is quite smoking and I am able to give up that habbit. Sound amazing right?
January 3rd, 2009 at 9:57 am
It seems many people are intimidated by the idea of changing their habits. They overestimate how much work it will take to do what they need to do and become overwhelmed. The steps you outline for changing habits are a good way for people to avoid falling into that way of thinking and make the changes they need.
January 3rd, 2009 at 10:00 am
I like the idea of creating habits rather than just “resolving” to do something. Making change requires more than just deciding a few minutes before midnight to say you’ll make a change. Following the steps you lay out makes it more concrete and less likely to be, well, just another one of those failed resolutions.
January 3rd, 2009 at 2:11 pm
“New Year’s objective” sounds much more possible than a New Year’s resolution. Most people don’t have the resolve to follow through, mainly because they look at a change they want to make and don’t break it into doable steps. As you’ve pointed out, it does take time to build a habit. The first 30 days is only the beginning. Thanks for a well thought-out post.
January 3rd, 2009 at 6:48 pm
I also do not like resolutions but this year Im doing them, I am going to save my money and try to learn better spending habits.
January 3rd, 2009 at 6:57 pm
I am a person who makes a new years resolution and a week later im doing it again so i dont believe in them. If a person really wants to accomplish something or change their lives we dont need to wait till the begining of a new year. That would just be a waist of time. If you really want to change then you have to do it yourself, and actually believe that you can change and you will see results.
January 4th, 2009 at 9:41 am
I believe in forming a new year resolution , have been trying it but if i talk of it’s efficiency or completeness by the end of time is not always 100% but still we improve a bit, and it’s a good habit . Form a resolution in routine , like on birthdays or anniversary etc. and work on it and have a clear determined goal , we do succeed.
January 4th, 2009 at 10:28 am
I like this post, it shows a great, step by step method to actually keeping a New Year’s Resolution. So many resolutions, New Year’s or otherwise, fail because people fail to plan out the resolution. Thanks for the great list for people to follow.
January 4th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I am one of those people with a recurring New Year’s Resolution. Your post helped my to realize what I can do to analyze why I have failed in the past and what I can do to be successful this year. Thanks!
January 4th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
this is a very good article. I agree with much of what you have said. new years resolutions are hard to keep, because people do not take them seriously enough. it really is breaking one habit and getting yourself into a brand new habit, and you need accountability. It is hard. but it would be worthwhile for me to commit to that amount of work on my new years resolutions. thank you for the article
January 4th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
I just want to read more this year a couple of new interesting self improvement books will do it, and spend more time with my family. These are the main goals this year, if there is more money that will be an extra bonus to the goals achieved….
January 4th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
I made some new years resolutions I admit I haven’t followed through in the past. but it takes determination. I plan to really work for it this year. Your blog is very true.
January 4th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
What u have is written is cent percent correct. I am sure that if if people follow it, they will be able to fulfill their resolution. I also have some new year resolutions and definitely, it will help me also. Thanks!!
January 5th, 2009 at 6:15 am
This is really helpful advice, thank you! I think numbers three and four are especially helpful for me. For instance, having a friend I can text message every time I finish working out really pushes me to do it…if only to send that text!
January 5th, 2009 at 6:59 am
Hi. Thank you very much for those four steps. On paper they look easy but based on experience, they may be some of the most difficult actions to carry out. As the saying goes \"old habits are hard to break\". Happy New Year!
January 6th, 2009 at 7:48 am
I want to start my meditation practices regularly. That is what I have planned to do in the next year. I hope to reap benefit from your four steps.
January 6th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
That’s pretty crazy stuff.
Often times I make a new years resolution that is something I don’t do, but wouldn’t be very hard to accomplish.
This year’s resolution was to be on time for everything, and so far so good.
January 6th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
I like the idea of breaking down the new habit into 30 day increments. This seems to be more attainable rather than looking at it as a large chunk of time. Day by day is easier.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:07 am
I thought this post provided good, real-life examples, although it’s not anything I haven’t heard before. People should not wait until January 1st to try and establish better habits.
January 9th, 2009 at 4:11 am
I think i would try and spend more time with my family. I am basically a workaholic by nature and i spend most of my time at work and even end up bringing back home some office work. I hope i can live up to my New Year resolution this time around
January 9th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
I actually enjoyed reading this post. Everything you said was right on the money. It takes a lot to stick to resolutions and you gave a good explanation as to why. I’ve never really stuck to any resolutions. I’ll definitely be back to read more.
January 10th, 2009 at 12:36 am
Breaking down the \"habit\" in increments is something we often forget but something that is quite necessary. No one quits anything cold turkey anymore
January 10th, 2009 at 6:32 am
My new year resolution completely changed after reading the article,I will try to develop better habits and inculcate better time line for my activities
January 10th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Simple, easy to implement methods to generate real change. Admirable and helpful. Thank you.
January 10th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
It does seem more attainable if you’re breaking it down into chunks instead of being overwhelmed, and thinking it’s an insurmountable task. I don’t even think you have to do it 30 days at a time. Depending on what it is, just doing a small amount every day will get you results faster than you might think.
January 11th, 2009 at 9:27 am
I watched 60 minutes one Sunday and the main focus was on Denmark and its people being the happiest and most content in the world, based on some survey /study conducted recently.Discipline , resolutions along with contentment I think are part of the art of living?
January 11th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
I set New Year’ resolutions again this year. So far, a little good, but I am hoping to do better this year.
January 11th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
I was actually surprised at how useful this blog was. I was expecting to open it and to read an opinionated speach, but I was actually impressed when you said ways to help keep the New Year\’s Resolution. You\’re right though, there\’s hardly anyone who ever keeps their New Year\’s Resolution (myself included lol.). You actually helped me. Thanks!
January 12th, 2009 at 1:55 am
Great article! This sort of thing needs to be repeated over and over again, people just don\’t get it!
January 12th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
I personally never make a resolution. If I want to start something, I make a strong commitment to myself and start that day, even if it is on December 30
January 12th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
This really is a great article! You make some very valid points about why people don’t keep their resolutions and you give good advice to help people who really want to keep them. Breaking it down into chunks just makes sense. But it is something that not everyone thinks to do.
Great job and good luck in the new year!
January 15th, 2009 at 3:52 am
u are right.i too decided to take some resolutions but,failed to follow it till now.the reason is same as u have given.so,i will try to follow your steps to reach my resolution.
January 16th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
I Agree with your article. I believe that is the reason i choose not to make resolutions at all. I can never stick to them!
January 18th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Personally I do not like the concept of New Years Resolutions’. I beleive that if you are going to commit yourself to something, you should do it any time, not wait for a new year to roll around before you do it. I really think that New Years Resolutions’ cause people to become lazy.
January 19th, 2009 at 9:06 am
I completely agree! People need to understand that it takes time to break a habit. I am a believer that we should make goals for ourselves even when it’s not New Years. There is no sense in waiting!
January 19th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
This has given me an idea to break a bad habit by replacing it with a good habit. I hav a plan, hopefully it will take hold in less than 30 days.
January 21st, 2009 at 12:13 am
Jack Canfield has some excellent ideas about breaking down bad habits and building new ones in his book The Success Principles. Nice to see some of the ideas echoed here.
January 21st, 2009 at 7:36 am
I see all types of people from different walks of life, each one always has a New Years Resolution, but only few are able to keep them. I think the reason why people have a hard timr is because of everyday routine. I see that most have a hard time with change and to throw somethign new into their routine takes effort. I think that people are just comfortable with their everyday routine or “life”.
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I hope this year will be much better than 2008. Finally I can finish my university studies and find a good job.
January 24th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Today January 24, 2009 is my New Year Eve according to Chinese and Vietnamese records. 2009 is my year because I’m an ox. I’m lucky because I still have time to set new goals. I really want to have firm control over my life. What I want to change is myself. The only New Year resolution I have for myself is to be a calm person. I will not show my anger and I will not say anything hurtful in the upcoming year. I’m human so pretty soon I will forget my promise. If that happens, it will be ok. If I forget, and I say bad things, I will tell myself not to act out on that habit again. My husband will remind me. I have a realist goal and I have my best friend to help me achieve my goal. I’m good to go.
February 11th, 2009 at 10:26 am
I do believe that humans are basically creatures of habit and its very hard to change our habits. That is why it is so hard for us to keep our new years resolutions. We really have to keep it in the forefront of our minds and hearts to make it work! It also takes support from others close to us to get it to work for us!
February 11th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Yes, I always find it facinating why people make such statements when nearly 90% of the time they don’t follow through. I guess it is just becoming a trend. Usually by the end of the month or two no one is holding you accountable. I am the opposite though. I am a committed person!
February 15th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
I think you made a positive aspect for human being they should change with the new year resolution and hope for the best in new year.
February 16th, 2009 at 3:09 am
Some people believe in making New Years Resolutions and some not. Giving resolution a right name , that is , leave BAD habits and form GOOD habits is an excellent work you have done! It’s AMAZING!!!
April 28th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Making a New Years resolution is always bad for me because I can never hold on to them, thats why I no longer make New Years resolutions because I just live life as I were living the previous year.
June 20th, 2009 at 5:03 am
I dont believe any ersolution everythigndepends on ur mind get it set and then tyr to acive it is my policy no use setting one resolutionand not attaing it i have seen so many of my friendsdoing that istake.
June 27th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
This site is very informative and it tells us about the resolutioons we make in the new year eve, i do believe in making resolutions and i try hard to achieve it .
April 17th, 2010 at 2:38 am
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